Spirit Called Bullshit On My Big Day.

I sat in the pew, feverishly writing down all the people, experiences, and feelings I wanted to release in the fire ritual - the people in my life who caused me pain, the fear and blame I carried, and the shame I held onto for my own mistakes. So my big plan was to write it all down and throw it into the fire, releasing myself from all the yucky, heavy, “feels” and energy I’d been carrying around like a broken parachute strapped to my back.

This was my big day. My ticket out of everything holding me back in life! Yep. It’s going right into that fire for a final adios.

I carried my paper up to the altar of fire at the spiritualist church I was attending at the time. As I approached, I momentarily looked past the alter to the old podium where iconic, historical figures Frederick Douglas and Susan B. Anthony once stood. Taking my place in front of the altar, I looked down and dropped my paper into the fire on top of everyone else’s fears, victimhood, emotional pain, and list of wrongdoers in their life. We were all being released!

I watched for a moment as my list of “ego created illusions” burned, before taking a deep breath in, turning, and walking back to my seat. Good riddance! It’s OVER! Now I can finally become a manifesting bad ass! Just think of the abundance and prosperity I’m going to attract with all that vibrational resistance finally gone!! It was a day to celebrate the new me.

BULL. SHIT.

As my brain cheered me on, YES girl, YESSSSS! You did it! , something inside of me on a deeper level felt nothing - nada, crickets. I was still holding onto all of it - my soul and spirit team knew it.

I was still me. I still held the same beliefs about myself. I still felt small inside. I still didn’t get what the Universe was putting down! When you realize yourself to be LOVE, you are in the Truth of who you are and there is nothing that needs to be released. You don’t yet know the Truth of who you are. You still see yourself as the illusion vs. a perfect soul of pure Love and light. And perhaps just as importantly, you don’t see the people on your list as perfect souls of Love and light - you see them as perpetrators within your illusion of imperfection, pain, and victimhood.

Spirit had officially called bullshit on my big day of becoming the new me. I was the old me continuing to play pretend in my human role. I was in the illusion/delusion of needing to release things that were never part of the TRUE me in the first place!

Knowing the Truth of who you, and those playing alongside you in this illusion called life really are, is the real “release”.

It’s the release of the illusion that frees you.

Big Love.

XOXO