My Life As a German Soldier.
I am writing this on Holocaust Remembrance day. There are very few, if any, words to describe the horrors of this time.
Here is my story…
When I was a little girl, I began having extremely vivid, recurring dreams. I dreamt that I was frantically running through war torn regions of Europe. As a young child I didn’t know logically that my dream was taking place in Europe, but I was given a “knowing” that this is where I was. I saw the rubble of buildings crumbled around me and fear took up permanent residence in my body as I searched for a place to hide. Run, RUUUNNNN…keep running I told myself in the dream.
During one particular dream I found myself in a small shop in Germany speaking fluent German to the shop owner. In my waking life I knew nothing of Germany or the German language; yet in my dream, I was in a familiar place speaking my native tongue.
The dreams continued for months and sporadically over the years as I got older. The theme was always similar in nature - me running through war ravaged towns and villages looking for a place to hide.
I recall one morning around the age of nine, being alone in my bedroom sitting calmly at the edge of my bed. I didn’t feel the least bit sad, and nothing bad or traumatic was happening in my life. Yet on this particular morning, without understanding why, I made a “gun” with the thumb and index finger of my right hand, put it in my mouth, and pretended to pull the trigger. I felt no emotion in the action, almost as if I was in some kind of a trance.
Fast forward to my early 20’s when I visit my first psychic. Her name was also Wendy, and she was well known in the area through her appearences on a local radio show. As I sat down with her, I was excited to hear what would come through!
I was amazed. She brought through so many accurate details around my life! At the end of my session, as I stood to leave, I suddenly felt compelled to ask her one more question. Do you believe in past lives? That’s a whole other session! she said. But I will tell you this…in your most recent past life you were a German soldier during the Holocaust. When you realized the horror of what was happening, you defected from the German Army and went into hiding until Hitler’s men eventually closed in on you. When you realized there was no escape, you put a gun in your mouth and ended your life before you could be arrested and taken prisoner.
A cold rush went up my spine as I recalled my vivid childhood dreams and the morning as a young girl when I inexplicably acted out the taking of my life.
Could this be real?? Could I have actually lived as a German solider who defected from the Army during the Holocaust?!
Several years later I moved from my hometown in Upstate, NY all the way to Duluth, GA with my then husband and two year old son. It took awhile to settle in; I desperately missed my close-knit family back in New York. But eventually I met some new friends and began pushing myself to get out more.
One of these outings happened to be a holistic wellness fair where psychic readings were being offered. So, approximaly five years from my first psychic reading in NY, I had another one with a random psychic in Georgia. During this reading more emphasis was put on past lives. She spoke about several past lives she saw for me, but nothing about being a German soldier…until, when at the very end of our session, she said - and in your most recent past life you were a German soldier who defected from the Army, eventually taking your life before being captured.
WHAT ARE THE CHANCES?! She knew nothing of my previous reading, nor did she know anything about my childhood dreams and had no connection at all to the psychic I visited in NY five years earlier. I was convinced. My childhood dreams weren’t just dreams - they were vivid memories of a past life as a German soldier escaping the Army during the Holocaust.
One year, during a visit to the Netherlands, I found myself standing inside the Anne Frank house along the Prinsengracht canal in Amsterdam (my husband at the time was from the Netherlands). I couldn’t control the tears as I stood in absolute reverance for the place where Anne Frank and her family hid before being found by police in the secret annex. I looked around at the photos and mementos hung on the walls of the house - the emotion I felt was almost unbearable.
Walking back outside into the sunlight, I composed myself as I watched the waters of the canal flow serenely by and knew, like my soul’s remembrance of another lifetime, that the water too, held close the memories of a time humanity will never forget.