Spaghetti Pomodoro - energetic exchange, $23 - read no restaurant menu ever.

Oil change with tire rotation - energetic exchange only $75! advertised no automotive garage ever.

So my question is this - why do spiritual entrepreneurs do it?

I’m going to share with you what I’ve uncovered about manifestation at its core. Shift your energy they say. Visualize what you want until you feel it they say. Create a vision board they say. Move your body to raise your vibration! they say. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking any of this, but in looking back at my life I realized something interesting about manifesting…

I am writing this on Holocaust Remembrance day. There are very few, if any, words to describe the horrors of this time.

Here is my story…

This was my big day. My ticket out of everything holding me back in life! Yep. It’s going right into that fire for a final adios.

You never know what secrets your soul is hiding, just waiting for the right moment to spring something crazy on you through a “knowing”, inner nudge, or inexplicable desire to pursue a new path.

As I watched her walk in the door for her Reiki session, spirit whispered into my ear - fill her with love today. Pour love into her. This is what she needs. I’d never heard this particular message prior to a session before and was feeling excited to see how spirit would direct me once we got started.

I saw her standing in the hallway as I picked my daughter up from first grade one day. Her name was Cindy and she was the teacher’s aide in my daughter’s classroom. As I stood just down the hall waiting for my daugther, I felt a profound sadness coming from her, deeper than anyone should experience.

Here I was, 15+ years post divorce - single with no more mingle left in me. During those 15+ years I desperately looked for love, for THE ONE who would make me whole, take care of me, and fill every void I had inside my heart and soul. Yet, with each new “relationship”, the opposite happened as I was left feeling worse. And the void ? Well it just kept getting bigger until I eventually found myself sitting in my car at the far end of the Herrema’s Food Market parking lot hopping on a free “discovery call” with a dating and relationship coach

I was traveling to visit my son’s family in another state over the holidays, when I got all up in my head and started a deep dive into my “why”. Why do I want to work as a psychic healer? And in asking this question, I suddenly realized that it wasn’t for the reasons I’d told myself all along - or rather the reasons I regurgitated from the online gaggle of coaches, healers, and other psychics I had been surrounding myself with.

My mom said this to me many times over the years as each rock bottom day turned into a month, then a year, and so on. Every time I called her with a new low, she’d say “Well the good news is that when you hit rock bottom, there’s no way to go but up!”. For some reason I found this comforting. Yeah, really, how much worse can it get? Things have to turn around from here! I’d tell myself. And yet, there I was, another year deeper into the colossal mudslide I called my life.